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GF and her ex keeping contact. Opinions?19069

KS100 private msg quote post Address this user
Hi. Me and my gf have been together for over 5 years. She and her ex were together for 4 months, 7 years ago. He lives in a different country.
A couple of months back she told me that they stay in touch over FB messenger now and then, and that he was in town back for a visit in may. He really wanted to meet her and she was unsure wether to meet him or not. She asked me for my opinion, and I said it was strange that she wanted to meet up with him, and I asked why she wanted to. She told me it was out of curiosity and to hear how he's doing. After some thought she found out it wasn't fair to me, and that she wouldn't meet him.

A couple of days back I used her computer (which I do from time to time). Her facebook page was up, and so was the chat with her ex. From there I couldn't avoid seeing things that to me seemed a little suspicious, and I will admit I got more curious and checked the conversation a bit more in depth (shame on me!).

At the end she wrote that some days earlier she had slept in bed with her best friend (girl) on a trip. Her friend had kissed her on the forehead in the morning while she was half asleep, and she told him that she thought it was him (the ex). She further on told him that it felt good (this made me quite angry- as it indicates to me that she still thinks of him and has unresolved feelings for him). They also talked about old times when they were together, what they did, and she wrote to him that she loved him very much before when they were a couple. He replied that he really wanted to meet her and he also loved her very much.

She is open about having contact with him, which is, after all, a good thing. But my question is: Why does she have the urge and need to communicate with him after so many years? What should I do next? I have been thinking about this quite some time the last days, and feel pissed about the whole situation. My gut tells me she still thinks about him alot, and that is a thing I struggle to deal with.

Some input would be much appreciated!
Post 1 • IP   flag post
Salokin private msg quote post Address this user
Honesty, honesty, honesty.

1. Confess you read her facebook page
2. Apologize you violated her personal space
3. Address what you read and ask the hard questions.
4. Tell her how it makes you feel.
Post 2 • IP   flag post
Yeags private msg quote post Address this user
Drop her on her ass... date her best friend she betrayed your trust...
Post 3 • IP   flag post
rememberthis private msg quote post Address this user
Dude. Seriously. Allow your girl to have her own intimacy and fantasy. As long as she respects you and doesn't cheat on you (or you don't find out about it), you're fine.

Act like it never happened. Stop being insecure. Know that it'll be over if you two aren't getting along anymore. Don't look for crap.
Post 4 • IP   flag post
Cannonball private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by rememberthis
Dude. Seriously. Allow your girl to have her own intimacy and fantasy. As long as she respects you and doesn't cheat on you (or you don't find out about it), you're fine.

Act like it never happened. Stop being insecure. Know that it'll be over if you two aren't getting along anymore. Don't look for crap.


logged in just to say what the actual fuck is this shit advice. as long as your girl cheats on you but you dont find out its fine? gtfo you fucking beta
Post 5 • IP   flag post
Cannonball private msg quote post Address this user
OP your GF agreed it was unfair to you, to to talk to him, so tell her to stop or get the fuck out
Post 6 • IP   flag post
KellyKapoor private msg quote post Address this user
At first I was gonna say that it's no big deal, but after reading more and getting to the part where she says to him that she had that fantasy of him and is continuing contact to possibly see him. I would confront the shit out of her. Only reason I wouldn't say to leave right off the bat is because yall have been together for over 5 years. You would think people would learn basic respect and trust over that amount of time
Post 7 • IP   flag post
haole private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by rememberthis
Dude. Seriously. Allow your girl to have her own intimacy and fantasy. As long as she respects you and doesn't cheat on you (or you don't find out about it), you're fine.

Act like it never happened. Stop being insecure. Know that it'll be over if you two aren't getting along anymore. Don't look for crap.


FUCK THAT! Ditch the bitch and don't even think for a second to be patient with her about this type of thing.
Post 8 • IP   flag post
haole private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salokin
Honesty, honesty, honesty.

1. Confess you read her facebook page
2. Apologize you violated her personal space
3. Address what you read and ask the hard questions.
4. Tell her how it makes you feel.


Do not apologize for anything. She better apologize and never do anything remotely close to this BS act again. The fact that she thinks this is ok is a HUGE RED FLAG!
Post 9 • IP   flag post
Aoverto7 private msg quote post Address this user
Think about it this way. If yall have been together for 5 years and you think that she is still thinking/wanting to be with her ex, is your relationship really that solid?

Time is the one thing you don't have, so don't waste it on a relationship where you are kept wondering. When you are in a good relationship you wont have to question these things. You really need to evaluate things and it may be time to move on. It is extremely difficult and it will be very painful. I have had to do it twice now but the main thing is that you have to learn from it.
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wannabemuscular private msg quote post Address this user
Is she hot? Put up some pics.
Post 11 • IP   flag post
Jsn3004 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabemuscular
Is she hot? Put up some pics.


Finally we have the real questions!

But for real, whatever you do don't take the advice of @rememberthis unless you want to be a pussy that lets your girlfriend do whatever she wants.
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Yeags private msg quote post Address this user
Big difference if she's hot😜😜
Post 13 • IP   flag post
rememberthis private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jsn3004
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabemuscular
Is she hot? Put up some pics.


Finally we have the real questions!

But for real, whatever you do don't take the advice of @rememberthis unless you want to be a pussy that lets your girlfriend do whatever she wants.
God forbid she actually stays with you because she wants to and not because "you let her" right?

Fucking pussies. Man up. Clearly you don't know (many) people who have been together for 30+ years.
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Cannonball private msg quote post Address this user
are you a cuck dude?
Post 15 • IP   flag post
Jsn3004 private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by rememberthis
Act like it never happened.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rememberthis
As long as she respects you


Yeah just pretend that his girlfriend wasn't secretly messaging her ex and talking about how she thought a kiss was from him and how she told him that it felt good. Also just forget that she was talking about what they did and how much she loved him. Oh yeah, that's totally normal for a girlfriend to do, especially when she's been in a relationship for 5 years. Totally respectful.

@rememberthis Cuck. You might let your girlfriend do that, but anyone with self respect wouldn't.
Post 16 • IP   flag post
rememberthis private msg quote post Address this user
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jsn3004
Quote:
Originally Posted by rememberthis
Act like it never happened.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rememberthis
As long as she respects you


Yeah just pretend that his girlfriend wasn't secretly messaging her ex and talking about how she thought a kiss was from him and how she told him that it felt good. Also just forget that she was talking about what they did and how much she loved him. Oh yeah, that's totally normal for a girlfriend to do, especially when she's been in a relationship for 5 years. Totally respectful.

@rememberthis Cuck. You might let your girlfriend do that, but anyone with self respect wouldn't.
Anyone with a little self esteem would not give a fuck.

Relationship problems are real. Paying bills, putting up with each other, taking care of kids, each other's parents when they are older. Fuck off with texting an ex. Self respect... pft. you're a tool
Post 17 • IP   flag post
Jesus private msg quote post Address this user
I'd take his photos, block his real page and catfish the bitch.
Post 18 • IP   flag post
SOLARSUPLEX private msg quote post Address this user
I think it's time to have a sit down talk and see where it leads you. As shit as it is you guys may have needed this and she hasn't been totally honest with her normal feelings.

Best of luck.
Post 19 • IP   flag post
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